The Big Chappal Case
Recap: When we last left off, Jaggu and the gang successfully solved their first case and put the evil politician PK Kulkarni a.k.a. White Chaddar Bhoot Uncle behind bars. This edition picks up 3 weeks after that incident at Chacha Chaurasia’s house.
“It’s getting really hot in here. We should do something about it Pappu.” complained Phoolsakhi.
“Wha….umm….the heat…I mean….oh yeah….the temperature….scorching…yes…of course!” said a red-faced Pappu.
“Please na Pappu. Let’s go to Shimla and Ladakh like we had planned. I hear it’s snowing there.”
“Phoolsakhi, we went over this already na? We don’t have the money to make the trip and plus we can’t leave Salma alone either.” said he.
“And madam won’t even go to any place other than that Jurassic village they discovered in the middle of nowhere.” Phoolsakhi ranted.
“Wow, can’t you guys at least check whether or not I’m around before you bitch about me!” said Salma, obviously not amused by Phoolsakhi’s comments. “And by the way, Pappu, if the heat is what the delicate one is complaining about, tell her that Sidneypuram is close to Mahableshwar, which happens to be a hill station. The weather there is just as pleasant as any other hill station.” she added as she patted Jaggu on the head.
“Really?” exclaimed Phoolsakhi. “Is it really all thanda thanda cool cool over there? Please please can we go there Pappu?”
“Umm, I don’t know Phoolsakhi, I don’t even know how one can go to Sidneypuram.” Pappu scratched his head.
“Well like I said, it’s a short distance away from Mahableshwar. If we can find a way to get to Mahableshwar, getting to Sidneypuram will be a piece of cake.” Salma said. Jaggu’s eyes lit up at the mention of a piece of cake and he started to salivate like Pavlov’s dog in anticipation of food. Realizing there was no cake he resumed with his nap.
“So let’s figure out a way to get to Mahableshwar na? Can’t you ask Chacha, Pappu?” Phoolsakhi pleaded.
“I guess I could I try…..oh look….here’s Chacha now!”
“Hello baccho, what seems to be the matter?” inquired Chacha as he tried to dislodge a piece of supari wedged between his paan-stained teeth with a broken match-stick.
“Chacha, we were wondering how we can go to Mahableshwar. You see, we want to visit Sidneypuram.”
“Sidneypuram kya?” asked Chacha before he spat out the supari piece. He then started to clean out his ear with the same match-stick. “Arrey, one of my boys is from Maalbangaon which is a stone’s throw away from Sidneypuram. He has been pestering me to give him a holiday so that he can visit his parents. If you kids think it’s okay, I can send him along with you guys. He can direct you.” he said inspecting the findings on the tip.
” I don’t know Chacha. I mean, we have 2 girls here. I don’t know if it would be safe to travel to an unfamiliar place with him.”
“Arrey… Tch …take my word Jhaadi is not like that. If he had to choose between Mallika Sherawat and a Cheese Sandwich, he’d pick the sandwich without thinking twice and ask Mallika to pass the ketchup.” laughed Chacha. “I’ll call him right away and you can see for yourself. Jhaadi betaaaaa!” yelled Chacha.
Soon a scruffy, unkempt,unshaven, skinny lad clad in ill-fitting clothes entered the room.
“Haanji Chachaji? You called?”
“Arrey Jhaadi beta, this is my nephew Pappu and these are his friends. They want to visit Sidneypuram. That’s the village next to the one where your parents live na?”
“Haanji Chachaji. Maalbangaon is merely ten-minutes away from there.” nodded Jhaadi.
“Beta, why don’t you accompany them. You can visit your parents too in the bargain. Ek kaam karo….take the van. Commuting tension finish!”
“Chachaji, the van is like Sidhu , it makes a lot of noise for nothing. It would fall apart before we got out of the gate.” Jhaadi said, while the others chuckled in the background.
“Haan so when did I say don’t get it repaired? Take it to the garage right away. Baccho, you can go with Jhaadi so you kids can all get to know each other.” said Chacha.
“Okay Chachaji!” they said in chorus.
“You guys wait here while I take the van out okay.” Jhaadi said.
“Okay Jhaadi.” said Pappu. He then turned to the girls and at once they all broke out in a fit of laughter.
“What a name! Jhaadi ! I mean what is he? A Neanderthal?” said Salma laughing hysterically.
A confused Phoolsakhi asked, “A Nean-what?”
“Umm…a caveman Phoolsakhi.” Pappu told her..
“Oh you mean like that cartoon wala guy….George Jetson? Hahaha totally! Good one Salma” she hi-fived as Salma laughed harder than earlier.
Suddenly a loud bang was heard. The gang rushed to the source of the sound fearing the worst.
“Just the van backfiring guys. This is going to take a lot of work.” said Jhaadi.
Once at the garage, the gang’s hopes were deflated just like 3 of the van’s tyres.
“It’s going to take a small fortune to pimp this ride.” the garage owner said. Just as the gang was about to give up all hope he suggested an unconventional idea.
“You kids could get this job done for free you know.”
“Really? How do we do that?” inquired an excited Pappu.
“Well, you can give some ad-space to a company on your van and they in return will pay for all your repairs. I have the perfect one in mind for you. Why don’t you kids drop by same time tomorrow and I’ll make sure this van is as good as new. By the way, you wanna give this baby a name? I’ll throw in a free vinyl just for you.” said the sweet talking owner.
“We’ll call it the Jasoos Gaddi” said Salma as the gang smiled at each other.
The gang spent the entire night impatiently waiting for the next evening when they would finally have their very own van.
“I’ve seen these shows on TV you know. They customize the cars with crazy features like flat screen TVs, leather couches, shiny wheels and what not. The Jasoos Gaddi is going to be a head-turner I tell you!” exclaimed Pappu.
“Maybe they’ll put in a nice cushion for Jaggu as well.” said Salma. Jaggu barked in excitement.
“I guess we’ll wait and see” said Jhaadi.
Slowly but surely, evening came and the gang excitedly headed to the garage where they were greeted by the same sweet talking owner.
“So you guys ready to see what your new van looks like?”
“YES!!” they all screamed.
“All right then. Bring her out boys” he said as they brought out the van which was still under a cover.
“Here we go kids. Meow FM – India’s First FM Station Just For Women; Presents your new Jasoos Gaddi!”
The gang stared in disbelief at the jhataak pink box on wheels. Pappu nearly collapsed from the shock while Phoolsakhi was over the moon.
“That’s not all guys…check out your custom horn.” said the owner as he was about to press the horn.
“MEEEEEEEEOWWWWWW!” the van screeched triggering a fit of angry barks from Jaggu.
“I guess we have to do with this guys.” Jhaadi said. “I mean there’s always a catch when it’s free.”
“Smart boy! I’m glad we all see this from the same perspective. Just one thing, make sure you are always tuned in to Meow FM – India’s First FM Station Just For Women.” the garage owner said before he honked again!
The gang returned home with the Jasoos Gaddi, unsure of how Chacha would react. As they pulled into Chacha’s lane, their worst fears were realized. One look at the Jasoos Gaddi and Chacha went berserk.
“Kya hai bakwaas! This horrid pink colour, these paw-prints and scratch marks on the side? Republic Day Parade se laye ho kya?” he screamed.
Knowing Chacha inside-out, Jhaadi intervened. “Chachaji, repairs free mein ho gaye. Not a single rupee spent!”
Chacha’s anger disappeared in a flash.
“Arrey Shaabaash beta. Say like that na!” Chacha patted him on the back.
“Yes Chacha see the awesome new paint-job?” added Phoolsakhi
“..And the new anti-skid tyres” pointed out Salma.
“And they even put in a new engine. This thing runs faster than a ghoda on steroids now Chacha.” Pappu proudly said.
“What can I say kids? You did it again. You deserve your vacation. Go! Have Fun!” he said.
At this point Jaggu rushed to Chacha and made the cutest puppy eyes one can ever witness.
“Kya hua Jaggu?” Chacha asked.
Jaggu turned to the gang and then to Chacha and then the gang, then Chacha again, and made the same sad face.
“Ohh accha! You want to go with them as well haan?”
Jaggu barked in approval and jumped up on his hind legs.
“We’d love to take Jaggu with us Chacha!” the gang said in unison.
“Chalo fir set! Tomorrow morning you kids leave for Sidneypuram okay?”
“Yes Chacha!” they said in chorus again.
The gang spent the remainder of the day hurriedly packing and preparing for the trip. Morning came in no time and soon it was time to leave.
“Chalo baccho, take care! And have a safe trip. I need to go now I have something in my eye.” said an obviously emotional Chacha.
“Don’t worry Chacha we’ll call you everyday. Phoolsakhi’s phone has 100 mins of STD calls free every month.” said Pappu. “Chalo Jhaadi, start the engine.”
Jhaadi turned the ignition and the pink machine purred to life.
“Sidneypuram here we come!” they screamed.
As the sun set, the gang was totally exhausted from the journey.
“How much longer yaa!” wailed Phoolsakhi.
“Well if the great Jhaadi Singh didn’t take a wrong turn 5 kms ago, we would have already reached.” complained Salma.
“Hey, be my guest! I’ll gladly trade my seat for your’s” retorted Jhaadi.
“Guys guys guys! Let’s not fight, we can’t be too far away now.” Pappu attempted to placate them.
“I can’t calm down with this stupid radio station on.” growled Salma before switching the radio off. Almost as if by magic, the van came to a standstill.
“What-the? Jhaadi why did we stop.” asked Pappu.
“I don’t know man. Let me take a look under the hood.” said Jhaadi as he stepped out.
“Why did you have to switch the radio off Salma? What’s your problem yaa! Now look what you did.” ranted Phoolsakhi.
“It’s best for everyone that I switched off trust me. If I heard “Oh Mickey you’re so fine, you’re so fine you blow my mind.” one more time I would have ripped the radio apart with my bare hands.” she angrily said.
“Another Goddamn fine-print!” Jhaadi yelled.
“What is it?” Pappu inquired.
“Well remember when the garage guy said, ‘Make sure you are always tuned into Meow FM.’ Well he meant it. The van is programmed to come to a standstill when you switch the station off. Unless we figure a way around it, I guess we are stuck here.” he said kicking the front tyre.
“What do we do now Jhaadi?” asked a worried Pappu.
“Well you wait here with the girls. I’ll go ahead and see if there’s a lodge somewhere here.”
“Take Jaggu with you.” Salma said. “He’s probably the smartest one here” she sarcastically remarked looking at Phoolsakhi.
Jhaadi and Jaggu then set out in search for a place they could halt for the night. Half an hour passed, then an hour, then an hour and a half, but there was no sign of Jhaadi and Jaggu. Phoolsakhi began to panic.
“What if something happens here. I’m getting worried Pappu. Let’s go Jhaadi ke peeche na!” she said as Salma laughed to herself.
“You know what she means Salma! I think we should give them a few more minutes.” Pappu said.
Just as predicted by Pappu, Jhaadi and Jaggu arrived soon after.
“So did you find anything?” asked Pappu.
“Yeah of course we did. Sorry we’re late by the way. Me and Jaggu were too hungry so we decided to grab a bite before we headed back here.” Jhaadi said.
“Wait a minute, you mean there’s a place to eat in this god-forsaken place! Yayyyyyyy!” Phoolsakhi joyously said.
“Of course, Kartar Singh’s Dhaba and Motel. I’ve already booked our rooms there. All we have to do is go there, dine and relax for the night. His guys will take care of the van.” boasted Jhaadi.
“Great then! Let’s go!” Pappu said.
A fifteen minute walk later the gang arrived at Kartar Singh’s Dhaba and Motel which looked as if it were straight out of a Ramsay brothers movie. With knee length grass in the lawns and tall trees on all sides the place made for an interesting picture indeed.
Kartar Singh personally welcomed them at the entrance and directed the gang to their rooms.
“Dinner is ready. Why don’t all of you wash up and get ready.” he said.
“Of course!” said Pappu who was obviously starving.
Within no time, the gang gathered in the dining room, where Kartar Singh was already comfortably slouching on a chaar-pai.
“Oye Samant! Daal le aa…Maa Ki.” he yelled
The next moment a heavy-set man well over six feet entered with a bowl of daal and rice.
“This is Mr.Samant, my chef-cum-waiter” informed Kartar. “Well what are you standing there for? Serve them already!” he ordered.
Samant mouthed some choicest abuses to Kartar and then served the gang. This did not go unnoticed by Salma. She immediately sympathized with him.
After dinner was done, the gang relaxed with a conversation with Kartar.
“So how long have you been here, Singh-saab?” asked Pappu.
“Oh! I’m fairly new here. This place was owned by a local before he went cuckoo. I bought it out from him last year.”
“What do you mean went cuckoo?” asked Salma.
“The man started seeing things. He said there was a wild ape in the vicinity who had gone crazy. If anyone was crazy it was that man I tell you.” Kartar laughed.
“Laugh all you want. Big Chappal the Sasquatch is real.” Samant intervened.
“Oye! Enough of your monkey business. Creatures like King-Kong exist only in movies.” Kartar brushed him aside.
“Archaeologists say they may have found proof of his existence in the nearby Sidneypuram excavations.” Samant argued.
“Well then I’ll personally attend to him and offer him a banana-split when he visits, okay?” Kartar mocked as they others laughed at Samant.
Soon they dispersed to their rooms to retire for the night. As Samant was about to head to his own room, Salma stopped him.
“You know what, regardless of what the others say, I believe you. I mean before the excavation, no one would have believed there was an ancient civilization buried under Sidneypuram.”
“Well at least someone here has their brains in the right place.” Samant said. Salma blushed at that statement.
“Hey…umm….if you don’t mind can you tell me a little bit more about Sidneypuram?” she shyly asked.
“Well, I’d love to…but I’m afraid I have to call it a night here. I have an early morning tomorrow. But we can chat in the afternoon. Maybe I can show you around”
“That… would be nice.” Salma nodded.
“Okay good-night then.”
“Yes, good night to you as well.” said a smitten Salma as she headed to her room.
“What a guy” Salma thought to herself. “Who knew I’d meet such an interesting fellow in the middle of nowhere.” When she reached her room she saw that Phoolsakhi was already fast asleep. She decided to keep the noise down so Phoolsakhi wouldn’t get disturbed. Quiet as a mouse, she turned in as well.
Phoolsakhi who was actually pretending to be asleep the whole time, seized the opportunity and called Pappu on his cellphone. Pappu’s phone which was on loud mode filled the room with the sound of ‘Dhoom Machale’ but Jhaadi and Jaggu’s snoring jugalbandi was louder still. Pappu tiptoed to the window and answered the call.
“What took you so long to answer the phone and what’s that disturbance in the background.” inquired Phoolsakhi in hushed tones.
“That noise is coming from Jhaadi and Jaggu. Sounds like a whale being run over by the Titanic.”
“Hey don’t say that yaa! I love that ‘My Heart Will Go On’ wala gaana!”
“Haan haan okay. Did you call me to discuss Celine Dion’s greatest hits? Get to the point na.”
“Haan…yaa…thanks for reminding…I’m sneaking out of my room okay? I’ll meet you at the main entrance, okay?”
“But….this late….why?” asked Pappu confusedly
“Arrey just come na.” she coaxed him
“Okay I’ll be there in a minute.” Pappu hung up. He then quietly sneaked out of his room, not that he needed to be quiet around Jhaadi though. He closed the door behind him carefully and headed downstairs where Phoolsakhi was waiting for him.
Jhaadi’s snoring got louder and louder to the point that Jaggu couldn’t take it anymore. Jaggu jumped up and kicked over the glass of water that was on the bedside table.
“Whaa…what the….it’s raining here?” mumbled Jhaadi. “Ohh…Jaggu….what are you doing here?”
Jaggu remained expressionless and snored like Jhaadi.
“Oh, my tummy must be growling again. Let’s go look for a midnight snack what say Jaggu?”
The mere mention of food was enough to get Jaggu to agree. He started tugging at the end of Jhaadi’s pants.
“Haan haan, coming baba.” Jhaadi calmed him down.
In the meantime the ‘bad condition’ couple Pappu and Phoolsakhi were blissfully unaware of Jhaadi and Jaggu heading downstairs.
“Can you hear that Pappu?”
“Hear what?” asked Pappu.
“I can hear footsteps and panting noises.”
“Relax Phoolsakhi your ears must be ringing.” Pappu calmed and hugged her..
“No yaa. Listen, the sounds are getting louder. What if it’s that Big Chappal. I’m getting scared let’s go away from here.” Phoolsakhi panicked.
“You have the keys to the Jasoos Gaddi naa?”
“Yeah I do. But the van’s broken down na”
“Who said I want to go for a drive.” she suggestively winked.
“Ohh….like that haan?.” Pappu winked back. They then proceeded towards the parking lot at the back.
Jaggu and Jhaadi continued their search of a midnight snack in the kitchen but to no avail. At that moment Jaggu barked.
“Kya hua Jaggu? Did you find something?” asked Jhaadi excitedly.
Jaggu looked outside the window and barked again.
“Arrey awesome, they have a garden with fruits and veggies! Great work Jaggu. Fruit salad and sandwich okay with you?”
Jaggu wagged his tail happily. Jhaadi then opened the back door and the two of them went to the garden.
Back in the girls’ room, Salma woke up to find Phoolsakhi missing. Fearing for her well-being, she went out to look for her. In the corridor she bumped into Kartar who was startled to see her.
“Arrey Salma? What are you doing here at this late hour?” he asked.
“Phoolsakhi seems to be missing. I came out here to look for her.”
“I don’t know about Phoolsakhi, but I saw Jaggu going Jhaadi ke peeche.”
“Jaggu and Jhaadi out at this hour? Where were they going?” asked Salma confusedly.
“They went downstairs. Come I’ll take you there. We’ll look for Phoolsakhi as well.”
Salma and Kartar then headed downstairs to the kitchen.
“Well they don’t seem to be here. Last I saw them they came in here. I figured they must be thirsty or something.” said Kartar.
“Wait do you see that ape-like figure in the garden outside. It’s Big Chappal, he’s out there!” Salma exclaimed.
“You’re seeing things too now? There’s no such thing as Big Chappal! I think you need some sleep..” Kartar said.
“Listen, I’m not mentally unstable! My friends Jaggu Jhaadi and Phoolsakhi may be in trouble. Now I dont care whether or not you believe me, but I saw an ape out there.” she argued.
“Fine, lets go out so you can see for yourself. 10 minutes from now I will say ‘Told you so’ and you will agree that I was right all along.” Kartar jibed.
“We’ll see about that!” Salma retorted.
And so they headed out into the garden.
At that time a loud cat screech was heard followed by sirens of “Meow”.
“Oh crap, I think we accidentally set the alarm off.” Pappu panicked. “Let’s get out of here before anyone sees us here.” The two rushed back inside the motel.
“That sounds like the Jasoos Gaddi, Kartar. Something is very strange here.” Salma said.
“Hmm, maybe there’s a car-thief, lets check it out.” said Kartar as the two of them ran to the parking lot.
Jaggu and Jhaadi were busy munching on apples and bananas in the garden, oblivious to all the commotion.
“This is the life I tell you, Jaggu!” Jhaadi joyously remarked.
Suddenly he felt a tap on his shoulder. He turned around to be greeted by the sight of a huge ape waving at him.
“Holy Cow! Big Chappal. Run Jaggu Run.” Jhaadi screamed.
Jaggu was off in a flash but Jhaadi who wasn’t as quick struggled to keep up. Big Chappal growled angrily as he chased them.
“Do you hear that Kartar! I told you it was Big Chappal.” Salma said.
Kartar didn’t have an explanation and so without a word he followed Salma to the back of the motel.
“Look there he is. He’s getting away.” Salma ran behind him. But Big Chappal was too quick for her and vanished Jhaadi ke peeche (literally behind the bushes this time) before she could catch up.
Salma stood there, out of breath and confused. Looks like the gang had a new case on their hands.
“Goddamn it! I’ll kill them. I’ll kill them all!”
“What happened Maali Kaka?” Samant asked the disgruntled gardener.
“Look at my garden! He destroyed it” he continued swearing.
“Who destroyed it?”
“That stupid ape Big Chappal. As if the obnoxious little weeds weren’t enough trouble!” Mali kaka said pointing to the giant chappal marks on the field.
“Big Chappal did this to your garden?” Samant said in shock.
“Yes, he came here last night. Kartar and I spotted him in the garden. But he disappeared before I could catch him. He even tried to break into the Jasoos Gaddi.” Salma intervened.
In the meantime, the rest of the gang entered looking haggard and weary.
“And just where the hell were you guys?” Salma said looking at Phoolsakhi and Jhaadi. “You know there’s a crazy ape around these parts and yet you sneak out in the night?”
“Uhh…you’re right Salma. In fact I woke up because I heard strange noises in the night. So I took Jaggu with me to see what was going on .” Jhaadi quickly ad-libbed his alibi.
“Is it? And where were you Phoolsakhiji?” Salma asked.
“Me….uhh….I was going to the loo….then I lost my way.”
“Well be careful! Guys, Big Chappal is for real. I saw him with my own eyes.” she said.
“Let’s get out of here then! I don’t want to say in a place with a wild crazy ape.”said a scared Phoolsakhi.
“No, Phoolsakhi. Don’t you see my point here. We’re not the Jasoos Gang for nothing. We have to solve this case as well.”
“Dekh Salma, it was cool while it lasted. But you know we’re no detectives. I mean last time we didn’t even have a plan to catch PK Kulkarni. We just put a lot of dots out there for God’s sake!” Pappu complained.
“But this time I have a plan na!”
“Okay let’s hear it then.” said he.
“Fine I’ll ask you a riddle. A monkey is hungry. A bunch of bananas are put in front of him. But he doesn’t eat them. Why so?”
“Sad one Salma. Either the monkey is made of plastic or the banana is made of plastic or both. But what the hell does that have to do with your plan?” said an irritated Pappu.
“Don’t you see the point”
“No. Seriously, What the hell do you mean?” Kartar intervened.
“Simple monkeys like bananas. The bigger the monkey the bigger the bigger the banana. We’ll all dress up as giant bananas and split..Get it….banana split!” she giggled alone at her joke.
“Okay okay, but seriously. We’ll split up in groups of two okay. Jhaadi you can go with Jaggu. I’ll go with Kartar, Phoolsakhi I’m sure won’t mind going with Pappu. Maali Kaka and Samant can be together. Okay?”
“Okay and what do we do then?” they asked.
“That’s your plan? Sheesh!” Pappu ranted.
“Hey it’s better than dots at least. Anyone else have a better suggestion? No one…see! We’ll do this my way.” Salma argued.
As the sun set, they divided into their pre-determined groups.
“Okay Phoolsakhi and Pappu. Where do you guys want to be positioned?” Salma asked.
“How about we wait in the Jasoos Gaddi.” Phoolsakhi suggestively winked at Pappu again. “I mean it’s safe and we can overlook the whole parking lot as well.” she added.
“Fine. Jhaadi where do you want to wait?”
“Wherever I’m farthest from the monster.” he said.
“Okay, you and Jaggu guard the main entrance then. Kartar and I will wait at the edge of the backyard where he escaped. Samant and Kaka can guard the garden. Theek hai?”
“All okay beta, but what if he starts chasing us.” Maali kaka asked.
“Hmm…..how about we set a trap inside the motel? Yeah…if anyone is chased by Big Chappal raise an alarm, we’ll all come together and see what can be done . Okay?”
“Still doesn’t sound like a plan to me. But hey you’re the boss.” Pappu sarcastically said as he and Phoolsakhi headed to the parking lot.
“Okay the rest of you assume your positions as well.”
By the time it was fully dark, they were all ready and waiting for their target.
An hour passed, then two and yet nothing happened.
“Aise kuch nahi hone wala. We have to lure that bandar with bananas. I’ll go get bananas and we’ll leave a trail leading to the kitchen. Samant you go and get the macchar nets. We’ll make a trap out of that.” Maali Kaka said.
Soon the trap was in place. A rope tied to the door frame would trip anyone who ran into the kitchen and they would then fall into the Macchar net trap.
“Ab dekhna, we’ll catch that bandar in no time.” Maali Kaka proudly said. “Go tell Salma about it Samant, I’ll hide behind the apple tree.”
“Okay I’ll do that.” he said as he disappeared to the back.
Jhaadi and Jaggu at the front end were bored and hungry.
“All this work for a stupid ape! Let’s go to the garden and get some bananas Jaggu.” Jhaadi said as he started walking towards the garden.
“Hey look here’s a banana, and there’s another one.” Jhaadi gleefully said as he chomped them down. “Wow look there’s a trail of them. Let’s follow it shall we, Jaggu?” So saying they ate up all the bananas one by one.
Maali Kaka came from behind the apple tree and found the bananas missing. “The bandar took the bait.” he grinned. “Any second now and he will be caught”
The next moment a crashing sound was heard from the kitchen.
“Pakad liya. Pakad liya! I’ve trapped Big Chappal.” Maali Kaka shouted. All of them came running towards the kitchen only to find Jhaadi and Jaggu entangled in the macchar net.
“Jhaadi is Big Chappal and Jaggu Chotta Chappal? Hawwwwwww!” Phoolsakhi almost fainted out of shock.
“Of course not! We just followed the kelas and ended up here.” Jhaadi defended himself.
“Wait a minute, you mean it wasn’t Big Chappal?” Maali Kaka was confused. “Who’s been eating all my fruits then?”
“Oh yeah…about that…” Jhaadi and Jaggu blushed.
“Oye wait….look out there….Big Chappal is doing Bhangra in the garden and mocking me. Oye I’ll show you who’s in charge here King Kong ki chatti aulaad!” Kartaar fumed.
“Let’s go get him guys.” Salma said.
“No thank you I’m happy in this net here.” Jhaadi hesitated.
“This is no time to chicken out. Chalo let’s go catch him.” Maali kaka said.
Salma and Kartaar rushed outside while Big Chappal started doing the monkey. Seeing Salma and Kartar coming towards him, he made a run for it. Salma, determined not to let Big Chappal escape this time ran faster than Marion Jones on steroids. As they headed to the edge of the backyard, she was about to catch hold of Big Chappal before the ground gave way. Salma fell into what seemed to be a secret basement.
“What the hell?” she groaned.
The basement was pitch dark, so Salma whipped out her Nokia 1100 (with torchlight!) and started to look around. She discovered a staircase that lead upstairs. Quietly she headed upstairs. There was a door at the end of the stair case. Salma slowly turned the door knob and entered the room searching for the light switch. As she was about to switch the lights on, she was grabbed from behind by Big Chappal.
“You had to mess with me didn’t you? I’m going to kill you now!” the beast roared as he choked Salma.
Salma desperately tried to fight him off but he was too strong. With her last ounce of strength she tugged at his hairy face and Voila! His head came off!
“What the hell!! * Cough * You’re no ape, this is a mask.”. She elbowed the fake ape in the stomach and broke free.
“SAMANT!!! You are Big Chappal! And to think that I trusted you! Sheee…you…..you bloody monkey!!” Salma yelled.
“HEY! NOBODY CALLS ME A MONKEY!!” Samant roared. “Enough is enough. I’m going to kill you all, starting with you.” said he before placing Salma in a choke-hold again.
In the meanwhile, the others followed Salma and reached Samant’s room as well.
“Let Salma go Samant! Or else….” Pappu screamed.
“OR ELSE WHAT?” Samant screamed back.
“Umm or else…she’ll turn blue and pass out na! Poor thing.”
“Ha! I expected as much from you! You little wuss!” laughed Samant. “Say hello to my little friend!”
“Oh you mean there’s a chottu monkey with you kya? Chooooo chweeeet” said Phoolsakhi in classic Phoolsakhi fashion.
“I mean this little friend, you airhead!” said Samant as he pulled out his gun. “A revolver with six bullets, one for each one of you!” he laughed aloud.
“Your math sucks Samant!” Salma laughed.
“What do you mean?” said a confused Samant.
“You’ll see soon!” she said searching for Jaggu, but he was nowhere to be seen.
“I have no time for your stupid puzzles.” he said holding the gun to Salma’s temple. “All of you hands up! Follow me!” ordered Samant. “I’ll kill you all downstairs. It’s impossible to get bloodstains off the carpet.”
“Actually you should try that new detergent Surf Excel Blue and then squeeze some lime juice over the stain….and wait…..I’m not talking to you anymore! Saala…liar!” Salma said.
“Just do as I say chup chaap!” Samant said, getting more and more irritated.
They quietly followed him downstairs as he led them to the parking lot.
“You know this reminds me of that Andaz Apna Apna movie, but I’m not too sure what the joke was there.” Phoolsakhi remarked.
“Haan chalo. All of you stand in alphabetical order.” Samant ordered. They did as he said. But Samant didn’t appear pleased. “Chuck that chuck that! Stand height wise. Haan now it looks nice. Okay chalo ready na? Hold still Salma, yeah hold that pose right there, let me shoot that for you!” he laughed
As he was about to pull the trigger a deafening “Meoooooooooowwwwwwwwww” pierced through his ears. He turned around to see the jhataak pink Jasoos Gaddi with its bright headlights coming right at him.
“Oh my God! Jaggu drives!!” Phoolsakhi fainted and Pappu who was used to it by now broke her fall.
Samant froze like a deer caught in the headlights of a car. He then closed his eyes and moment later Jaggu knocked him over with the Jasoos Gaddi.
A few hours later, Samant regained consciousness and found himself tied down to his own bed.
“Oye Magilla Gorilla! Spill the beans now. What’s all this monkey business?” Kartar demanded.
Realizing he had no other option, Samant decided to come clean.
“My last boss was a total khadoos. So I decided to teach him a lesson. Night after night I haunted him as Big Chappal, till he finally lost his marbles. But little did I know that you’d come along. You must have been born after a 1000 khadoos bosses died. When Jhaadi came to the motel the other day he told me how these kids wanted to go to the ruins found at Sidneypuram. I sensed my opportunity. I made up the bit about the archaeologists finding proof of Big Chappal’s existence there. I thought I’d drive you crazy too and then there would be no one would bug me. And I would have got away with it as well, if it wasn’t for these meddling kids…..and their dog!”
“Well gang looks like we’ve wrapped up another case!” Salma jubilantly exclaimed.
“Hmm, there maybe something to this detective business after all.” Pappu pondered. “Oh what the heck! Let’s do this! Let’s become full time detectives!” he said
“Yayyyyyyy!” they all screamed in chorus.
“Hey this calls for a celebration. Chalo, lets go to Maalbangaon, my mummy-daddy will give us a hero’s welcome just like the crazy fans gave the Indian team when they won the T-20 World Cup!” Jhaadi excitedly said.
“Great idea Jhaadi!” Salma hi-fived.
“Chak De…Oh Chak De Jaggu and The Jasoos Gang!” Kartar Singh danced. Soon the others joined and they danced the night away.
P.S. No monkeys were harmed in the making of this story.