It was a lazy summer afternoon, which come to think of it isn’t really possible because lazy is a human quality, and an afternoon is not a human (I think). Come to think of it sluggish would be a better word for it, but then again the jury is out on whether that is a human quality or not. Eitherways, the afternoon sucked. And that suckiness was in no small way enhanced by the fact that the weather was totally clothes-stickingly humid. Few felt this more than Pappu who constantly had to pry out his sweat-laden string bikini jockeys that kept riding up no matter what he did. Serves the bugger right, I say, who the hell in the right mind thinks that something called a string bikini for guys is going to be comfortable, anyway? A solitary bead of sweat trickled down Phoolsakhi’s phorehead and soon dripped its way to her cheek, and then to her chin after which it plunged to the hot pavement like one of those guys on AXN who take those parachutes and jump off these really high mountains and waterfalls. As the sweat bead plunged to its inevitable death, which most of those jumping idiots on AXN, Jaggu, stepped in between it and the pavement and consequently became the recipient of an unwelcome sweat drop bang in the middle of his pugly face. Most people thought pugly was a typo, but it was in fact a clever combination of the words ‘pug ‘ and ‘ugly’ which come to think of it meant the same thing anyway.
“And that right there, is a recently discovered papyrus painting of the great Egyptian Queen Nefertiti”. Salma said playing the nerdy tour-guide to the hilt.
On hearing the name that vaguely rhymed with a female body part, Jhaadi and Pappu who up until now were oblivious to everything around them let out a juvenile chuckle.
“Shee yaa, why do we keep coming to these dusty kabaadkhanas that too in such hot weather, Pappu. Come na, let’s go and watch a movie in some AC theater. “ Phoolsakhi cribbed.
“There’s no good movie out this week Phoolie.” Pappu replied
“Who said I want to watch the movie, if you know what I mean.” Said Phoolsakhi in a very if-you-know-what-I-mean way.
“AND THAT YOU GUYS, IS THE LATEST ADDITION TO THIS MUSEUM…” she yelled purposely to get everyone’s attention. “The Super Expensive, Diamond Shaped, Gold-Plated, Platinum Pendant from ancient Egypt. They say no one really knows what it’s for or why is its shaped the way it is, but since its from ancient Egypt, it must mean something spooky and mysterious. Plus it’s like the most expensive Egyptian relic in the whole world.” Salma said to the walls, because frankly who the hell cares about the nerdy stuff she says anyway?
DHISSSHHKYAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOONNN!! Came the sound of a gun out of nowhere.
“KHOON KHOON!” yelled a woman.
“Quick you guys, we have to get in on this action!” Pappu said as he ran to the screaming woman.
“I’m all for action with Pappu” yelled Phoolsakhi as she ran right behind him.
Not ones to be left behind, Jhaadi Singh and Salma too sprinted along without a second thought. But Jaggu, remained almost catatonically next to The Super Expensive, Diamond Shaped, Gold-Plated, Platinum Pendant from ancient Egypt, almost by instinct. Then again, Jaggu with stubs for legs wasn’t exactly Usain Bolt to begin with.
“Your kind attention, please. Everybody please stay calm!”, a voice emanated from the public address system. The announcer may as well have been as loud as a death metal vocalist with a bad cough, but the panicked crowd wouldn’t have listened.
“Attention please, come on people. I’m saying something here!” the announcer said almost pleadingly. “GODDAMMIT STOP THE MADNESS YOU STAMPEDING IDIOTS! WE’VE CALLED FOR BACK UP”.
“And backup has arrived!” yelled a bald man in a suit through a megaphone.
“CHA MAILAA, ACP PRADYUMAN! Yeh toh who CID wala hai.” Exclaimed a junior artist from the crowd.
“That’s not all, I brought the whole CID team here. All FIVE of us. Give it up for, Abhijeet, Daya and the Forensic lab doctor!” yelled Pradyuman as the crowd burst into a rapture of applause….
(Stay Tuned For the Rest of This Super-Mystery!)