A long time ago, a giant asteroid allegedly hit the earth, wiping out the dinosaurs. Rumor has it that The Flintstones too perished in the same accident. Many years passed after that and finally came 1988. On a Monday like any other, a kid was born (who would grow up to hate Mondays for the rest of his life). Doesn’t ring a bell? Thought so. Let’s cut the fluff. We are talking about none other than the author of this blog, the tall skinny kid, who thinks too much, Paras aka, Pazz. Since no one wants to interview him, he decided to do an interview himself. Watch him as he opens up to himself, in full public view. Questions, never before asked, never before answered (because they didn’t exist before) will appear in this interview. So read on. Oh and by the way, neither the interviewee nor the interviewer suffers from MPD. ADD maybe but not MPD! Now for the interview.
First of all, I am tempted to ask you, why do you blog? You keep saying most of your work isn’t meant for an audience and you dont care whether or not anyone reads it. So why make a blog then, why not a diary?
-Good question, I’ve never really thought of this before, maybe you should! I’d like to answer that in two parts. Firstly, no one ever does anything artistic merely for arts sake. We all hope to receive some recognition for it sometime. But as ‘artists’ we have higher self esteems than most lay-people, so we won’t stoop to the level of saying that their opinion counts. So instead I would say something like, ‘My work means more to me than any compliments.’ What I’m actually saying is ‘Since you dont seem to give a damn, I will make it look like I dont either.’ Secondly, when you tell people something isn’t meant for them, they take that as an insult, so in order to prove that they understand what you are trying to convey through a particular piece, they will read and comment, even if you intend for a post to make no sense. Smart ain’t it?
Hardly! Hmm, so how seriously do you take this writing business, you say you dont write something for the heck of it. And as you have mentioned in the past, as long as something doesn’t move you, you won’t write about. So why are we doing this interview then? What purpose does this serve?
– If you look closely, there’s a hidden meaning behind doing this interview. You need to pay close attention to the parts that dont actually seem like they deserve any attention. It takes a sharp eye to make sense out of this really. On second thoughts, maybe it isn’t meant for a mass audience anyway.
I think you’ve already mentioned that trick of your’s in the last question. Anyway, next question, many a times, we notice that you write a lot of personal experiences on this blog, especially in the last six months, we saw shades of you we hadn’t previously seen. What is the reason behind opening up like this?
– Exactly what are you referring to? Do you mean the long, winding posts that leave the reader more confused than before or the depressing, pessimistic, ‘woe is me’ type of writing. Wait, you’re saying its good! Oh in that case, well yes it was a time of change and growth. I learned a lot things from life. You know, as you grow older, you mature as a writer. I could make a post about this you know. Given the right amount of cynicism, rhetoric and double negatives, the piece can be so intriguing yet totally nonsensical that no one would ever know what hit them. Tell you the truth kid, you take yourself too seriously. Chill out a bit
But I am you!
– In that case I’m working on it. It’s not easy you know. I mean growing up and maturing and changes. It’s depressing and challenging.
Umm, this is getting repetitive if you haven’t noticed.
– Well this is my blog and my interview; I say what I want to say and how many times I want to say it. No one tells me what to do! You think its easy being me? You think it’s not chaotic inside my head. Crawl inside and Ill show you how it feels to be like me.
Why do you complain so much?
– I’m sorry it’s in my nature to rant. Besides anyone can see the bright side of things, I mean its bright, how can’t you notice it. It takes a whole lot of work finding out a darker side to an otherwise happy story. I pride myself for the fact that I can make your happy ending sound like a disaster. So if you look at the complete picture, I serve a purpose here, a very important one.
Or in other words, you just refuse to admit that you are cribbing in almost every article, right?
– Nonsense, name one piece!
Okay let’s start with June 2007, ‘Do Not Open Until X’mas’ is an obvious publicity stunt to gather sympathy. I mean its much ado over nothing. So what if you’re single, you can’t go on antagonizing women and society for it. And that’s just in that post. Should I go on?
– That was not a pity post. Mind you I am happy being single. So what if there are days I wish I had someone who’d call me in the middle of the night just to say they missed me, or say nice things to make my day. Everyone does, but I can deal with that I’m strong, I’m self dependent, I dont need anyone to make me feel complete.
You are doing it again…
– Doing what again?
Gathering sympathy over the fact that you are single…
– No I’m not. You’re just twisting my words. I’ll sue for defamation!
You are aware you are writing both sides of this conversation right?
– What I look for in an album is that the music should be honest and not forced. There should be genuine emotion. Unfortunately that doesn’t happen you see.
What the hell are you talking about; we are discussing how you make a big deal out of being single not this!
– Well, I want to talk about this now. Hurry up I dont have much time!
Okay, but no changing the topic again! I have a complaint by the way. Dont you feel that you do too many posts that are clichéd write ups about your friends, which are half decent Orkut testimonials, just to make it look like you care for them and that you cherish old times?
– No comments.
No comments doesn’t help you know, you are writing both sides of this conversation.
– You’re just jealous because your fat and I’m not.
I see why no one wants to interview you. Fine, let’s play it rough then wise guy. You said on your Orkut profile ‘ I dislike all that is narrow minded and discriminatory’, yet you have been guilty of poking fun at Malayalees and Gujaratis, also you constantly taunt people over their music tastes and choice of TV shows. Isn’t that contradicting your self?
– Hmm, for the music taste, copy paste that irrelevant bit that I used to sway the topic earlier on. As far as the jokes on the Malayalees and Gujaratis are concerned, I defy these allegations and plead not guilty, I further take this as an insult, and I think you are being mean to me just because I’m a Punjabi. Where were you when they made santabanta.com? Huh wise guy! Think about that, I havent!
So if you dont really think all that much, why do you make a blog for your introspections?
– Anyone who knows anything about writing knows that to write you must stop thinking. If I spent time thinking, when would I write?
I think this interview has been a great waste of time and anyone who reads this will lose at least a few points on their IQ.
– I agree, great job, we should do this again sometime, dont you think?
Absolutely, it’s been a pleasure chatting with you! Do hope to see you soon
– Of course, also I’d like to say a big thank you to all my readers who……uhh hello….where did all the readers go….I was only kidding about the part where I dont care of your opinion….come back guys…..okay this isn’t funny…guys…guys??