Mixed thoughts from today…

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If its one thing that I strongly believe, it is that human beings are not meant to be single. Go ahead refute me if you want to, I still stand by my belief. And I see myself under the same category. Over the years Ive gone from single to committed, to single to committed, to hating being single and finally experimenting and having fun with being single. Ill admit Im having fun now, but thats going to die out in a while, sooner or later everyone needs someone to love and I feel no different.

I have no idea what relation the above paragraph has to the rest of the post but I felt like writing that anyway…

Another year of college passed us by today. I kept telling everyone how I got that distinct ‘season-finale of a sitcom’ feeling all day. The last two years have always ended on a happy note, actually a high note. This year I was happy, but except for a few things here and there, it was pretty much an ordinary day.(Note quite the most memorable season finale Id say!). I realised the following things today (damn this is starting to sound like an answer paper!).

Firstly, it started to hit me that my TY friends wont be there anymore and today was probably one of the last days (or perhaps the last time) I see them in college. Secondly, the person that I was when I entered FY in June last year and the person that I am right now are different no doubt, but over time Ive seen that the core remains the same which is quite a reassuring factor.  I thought that the equations I shared with all my friends were changed for the worse this year, but towards the end, it fell back into place. Also one of the most striking things is the new group of friends that I made this year. I kept looking at all of us today, as individuals and as a group and I realized that we were a varied bunch of individuals, who get along like a house on fire inspite of the differences in personality. Also hanging out with each other has not made us similar people, in fact we have become more distinct as individuals. But the important factor is that we accept each others differences.

Well, okay, coming back to the being single part.Over the past few months, Ive learnt to value committment (in my case that would mean not being too comfortable with it). My bro getting married has had a lot to do with this. Apart from the fact that I AM NOT looking forward to sitting on a horse in the middle of the road with a 5 kg helmet on my head while a bunch of bad dancers jump around me for atleast a decade, I also came to realise the fact that none of my relationships ever reached the level my brother’s relationship has. Believe me its nothing to do with age here, its about finding that one person for you and being that one person for someone. Much as I would like to believe I havent found someone who did that for me at that level and neither did I. So I know I still have a long way to go when it comes to finding the right person.

Waiting for that person gets really unnerving at times. Actually most of the times to be honest. Eye-candy, crushes, casual dates, flings and the likes can only amuse you till a point, but when you realise that nothings going anywhere with any of the girls you like, it can be pretty bugging.  Oscar and the others at ‘the family’ think I’ll be the first one from the group to be married. They always thought of me as the committed type, and until recently I thought so too. Of course, now I want to experiment and have fun being single (all in a good way though). So well, Ive got 3 months of vacation ahead of me, lets see who I find and what I do…..cant wait, hope something happens soon. Till the, I guess Ill just have fun!

Maybe this waiting thing isnt so bad after all, takes some getting used to, but as long you have fun along the way and not get too pulled down by loneliness its fine….

Anyhoo, I’ll scoot for now, bring on the comments please!

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6 thoughts on “Mixed thoughts from today…

  1. I can relate to what you’re saying. I know how annoying it can get being single. but I’m *finally* learning to value the freedom I get. I know that waiting only makes me better.. more prepared for the responsibilities that a relationship would require. I’ve seen far too many relationships broken just because one or either both were just not ready for it.. Immaturity- bad ingredient for a good relationship. and I think that goes for every relationship, not just romantic ones. Even friendship, relationship with your your siblings… Everything requires for you to be able to give more of yourself and def needs maturity.
    Loneliness is a terrible thing but to be very honest.. all of you guys have gotten me through some of the worst times. *hug*
    About the last day college, on my farewell I felt strange coz’ I wanted to feel a lot of things but there was none of it.. I had a great time later with the surprise thing but as my farewell it meant nothing to me. Just another day with free lectures. 🙂

    As always, great post. Enjoyed reading your thoughts.
    love,
    Enit

  2. um. yes! I love wordpress…

    no. its just that i have a lot to say when it comes to thie topic.

    vc- what are you looking for?? can I help you search?? 😀
    -Enit

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