A bit of introspection

Standard
Introspection…………where have I heard this word before?? (Don’t provide me with oxford’s definition of the word, I know what it means).
We live in a huge strange world thats part of an equally if not more mysterious universe. Theres so much we know yet it pales in comparison with what we don’t! Take our own human mind for example, you think you know yourself well eh?
Well answer this question for me……….Who are you??
No, I dont want to know you’re name, I don’t wanna know where you are from, I don’t wanna know what you like or dislike, I want to know who you are……..can you answer that for me??
Guess not!
Stranger still I don’t know who the hell I am!!
I mean who am I?? Why was I born on this planet? Why was I born into my family?Why in this generation? What the hell is my purpose here? Why do I look like what I look like? If I wasn’t me would I recognise this face in a crowd? Why did I meet the people I have met?
Why are they here? Will I find my true love? Did she leave me already? Am I with her? Will things change? Do I want things to change? Why the hell do things have to change? Is change good? Is change responsible for everything thats good? Have I changed? Is it me or everyone else has changed? Does anyone even have an answer to this? Why the hell am I writing this? Is there a hell? Will I go there? Do I even care if theres a heaven or a hell?
Why am I writing this if I was watching a sitcom fifteen minutes ago? Does anyone care? Am I a good human being? I probably am not, but do I know that for sure? Hell I dont even know that? Am I lost in this huge world? Wait how can I be lost Im sittin in my own room? But a year ago I didnt even know this room existed! How the hell is this my room? Are all these questions a fit of panic? Or are they the speculations of a deep mind? Does that last question even make sense? Why are my hands cold all of a sudden? Wait my hands are always cold what am I worried about? Why are my hands always cold? Is there something wrong with me? Am I going to die? If I knew I was gonna die could I do anything to stop it? Do I wanna die? Am I writing all of this because I’m mentally unstable? Was I mentally stable in the first place? I mean 15 mins ago I was watching a sitcom and now I’m asking myself if I deserve to be in a padded cell!! Wait that wasn’t fifteen minutes ago that was half an hour ago, How did time pass so quickly? So am I quickly running to death or inching ever so slowly towards it? WHY AM I THINKING ABOUT DEATH? Is this me typing it? How would you know if its me or someone else for that matter? What if I stole this from someone else? and then again maybe I did not! Is this my conscious/semi conscious/ unconscious brain? Is there such a thing as a conscious/semi-conscious/unconscious brain? If a part of my brain is unconscious am I braindead? I probably am brain-dead no wonder these questions are so retarded? Where the hell is all this coming from? I swear I didnt prepare for this post. Hell half an hour ago I was watching a sitcom I didnt even know I would we writing this!! Have I said this already? Maybe I have? What the hell is the point of this post? What did i start this with? Is this making any sense? Then again does it have to make sense? Does something that makes sense to me make any sense to you? Does anyone understand me? Do I understand my own self? Do you understand your ownself? I wonder how many questions there are in this post? Will anyone bother reading this? Is this gonna be a part of huge black hole called the internet thats so vast that what I know about it pales in comparison with what I dont know?
OH MY GOD THIS SENTENCE WAS MY STARTING POINT!!!
This article is ME!!!
But do I even know who I am??

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11 thoughts on “A bit of introspection

  1. Oscar Varghese

    #1 Introspection was first started by our beloved French teacher. Jhanvi Vadke whom we all despise.

    And the answer to ALL of those questions is .

    Your in a huge black mass of empty-yet filled crap called as LIFE>

    Thats all to it man, doesnt ever make sense, does it now?
    Yes you have all three states of minds. Right now its the unconcious one that took over the concious one. Right?

    Correct me before joel does

  2. WiseDonkay

    I guess that was me writing it all, before u guys start calling me and asking me if I am allrite lemme say it myself!! I AM OK!!
    This was just a free writing exercise, but i guess it was on a higher level than something ive done before, guess I was in the zone or something.
    Ive never been drunk/ high but this was euphoric!! The only time something like this happened to me was once when I was half asleep/awake with my discman on, that was a rush too!!
    Once again I AM NOT GONNA BLOW MY BRAINS OUT OR JUMP OUT THE WINDOW!! IM OK!!
    ||PazzThePhilosophicalDonkay||
    what irony lol?
    wat am i doing here…….aww dammit the moment has passed!! lol

  3. virtualchameleon

    Contrary to what oscar told me to write (he told me comment that you have officially gone mad), I liked what you wrote coz i know it feels good to get all these questins off your chest even if you dont get answers

  4. Oscar Varghese

    Yeah yeah..I Didnt say you were gone mad…. You were telling me not to tell anyone that you went over the edge. I was just playing with ya… nevertheless………

  5. BlazeInRain

    Death is unevitable but shud it stop us from living… No question is stupid until asked… Only results can prove decisions wrong… Birth is not the beginning and death cant be an end… well there’s an endless list of not so coherent musings but ithink u alread y had enough of them…thanks to paazi… So i wont continue the torture… he’s doing a good job at it… and if u made it till here then either u r unliving or somet that contradicts the law of nature… and i dont mean that there cant be wise donkays… but dont know if that was what nature intended… Blazen One.
    Lets kill em all for world peace

  6. Anonymous

    Death is unevitable but shud it stop us from living… No question is stupid until asked… Only results can prove decisions wrong… Birth is not the beginning and death cant be an end… well there’s an endless list of not so coherent musings but ithink u alread y had enough of them…thanks to paazi… So i wont continue the torture… he’s doing a good job at it… and if u made it till here then either u r unliving or somet that contradicts the law of nature… and i dont mean that there cant be wise donkays… but dont know if that was what nature intended… Blazen One.

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